Sock
From The Tanooki Bored
[edit] Sock
Born in Shadow Moses, raised in Elektrenai, Equipment Manager for Dynamo Moscow at the age of 5. Sock was destined for greatness.
Not knowing who is father or mother was, Sock lived off the land since he was a child. At the age of 1, he swam from Alaska to Russia, to pursue his dream of becoming the Equipment Manager for Russia's Olympic Hockey team. Sock knew he'd have to start small. At the age of 2, he got his first job. Though he wasn't getting paid, he was doing what he loved, managing equipment. Numbering sticks, hanging up pads, sharpening skates, Sock could do it all. Until a terrible accident with the skate sharpener almost ruined his career. Sock's contract with the rink he was working for, on top of no pay, didn't offer any health care. In pain, he called out for anyone to help him, and there he met his mentor. Darius Kasparaitis. Kasparaitis, trained in the art of being an awesome defenseman, was able to nurse Sock back to health, simply by playing a solid, positional game of defense. Darius looked after Sock, and managed to get him a deal with Dynamo Moscow in the Russian Hockey League at the age of 5. Sock took his job serious. Alexei Yashin comments on Sock's skill in the locker room; "Why is a fucking kid back here? Who's kid is this? Can we get him out of he-JESUS CHRIST! GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM THE SKATE SHARPENER!". Sergei Petrenko had similar words of praise for young Sock; "What? How many Sergei's are on the team this year? Four? Fuck. We're all Igor, Alexei, Alexander, or Sergei. And all our last names have a 'k' in them. This is confusing. I don't know who I'm passing to anymore".
Sock was the equipment manager for the entire 92-93 season for Moscow Dynamo, despite Darius Kasparaitis deing drafted by the Islanders, and only playing 7 games for Moscow that season, Sock stayed with the team. Through his career, Sock was never regarded as the best, simply because he kept to himself. His dream of being Russia's Olympic hockey teams equipment manager almost came true in 2002, but was edged out by Yaroslavl Lokomtiv's Equipment Manager. Saddened by the IIHF's choice, Sock continued what he loved doing, and did best; managing equipment. In 2004, the NHL lockout brought his mentor, Darius Kasparaitis back to Russia. In a move that would surely cost him his spot on the Olympic team in 2006, Sock left Moscow Dynamo to work for Kazan Ak-Bars, Kasparaitis' team for the 04-05 season. Dynamo was not pleased. Sock knows he can never go back. Despite the loss of Sock, Dynamo Moscow dominated the 2004-2005 season, fueled with rage by the loss of Sock, their record on the season was 40-9-7-4. After their playoff win, Sock was ready to give up. No Olmypic hopes, no playoff wins. What was left?
Shortly, Darius Kasparaitis had to return to America, but with a plan. He got in touch with fellow Russian, GM of the 2006 Russian Olympic Hockey Team, and former New York Rangers team mate Pavel Bure, and reccomended Sock Larionov as Russia's 2006 Olympic Hockey Teams Equipment Manager. After explaining Sock's selfless nature, and willngness to join Kazan for no pay, Bure infromed Kasparaitis the role had been filled. Kasparaitis was stunned. He asked if Sock could have the role of Assistant Equipment Manager, and he once again declined. Kasparaitis hastily reminded Bure that he (Bure) had not played hockey in over 18 months, and that he (Kaspraitis) had 20 pounds on Bure. Bure agreed to his terms. A call, and ecstatic Sock later, his dreams are kind of realized. With the Olympics coming up shortly, will Sock help Russia to a Gold? Do Equipment Managers even get medals? No one knows.
Sock has a long career ahead of him, and to be Assistant Equipment Manager for Russia's 2006 Olympic Hockey Team at the age of 19 is a very promising start.
UPDATE:
After failing to get a medal at the 2006 Olympic Games, Sock Larionov went on a drinking binge with fellow Russian's Alexander Ovechkin, Alexander Kharitonov, and Maxim Sushinsky, and hasn't been seen since. After the games, he was unavailable for comments regarding his plans with Aks-Bar Kazan, or future relations with Russia's Ice Hockey Federation. When asked about Socks whereabouts, Sushinky told THI the last thing he heard Sock say was "It wasn't for lack of trying", after which he retired to his quarters, and left Italy on his own terms. Reports say he has been seen in Shadow Moses, going back to his life living off the land.
